It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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