So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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