Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
