He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
