ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
