I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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