It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
