so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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