I love black thongs
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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