Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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