kristin has been a bad kristin
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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