She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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