That's when you crack a 10am beer
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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