my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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