Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
