Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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