question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
