I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
