Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
