You can't special order awesome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
