tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
