Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

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(702): View more from Nevada

She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew

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(501): View more from Arkansas

One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?

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(289): View more from Ontario

is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?

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