I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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