before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
