We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
