Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
