is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
