I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
