So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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