I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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