I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
