I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize