Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
