I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
