Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Congratulations! We have a period
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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