Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
