Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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