I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
