He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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