i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
