I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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