My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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