Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
