OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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