Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
