I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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