i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
