The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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