I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
