i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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