508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
