Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
