What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
