A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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