I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
