I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
