Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
