i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
