why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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