the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
