Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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