You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
