she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
high people should be assigned attendants
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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