And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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