they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
