So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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