just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this boner is exhausting
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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