It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize