I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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