this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
