Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
