I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
