I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
