I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize